I found my childhood.

This book series was my life. All I looked forward to for a long time. This series got me into reading. I loved it. I want to read them again. Im so glad I finally REMEMBERED them! Her name always reminded me of Mayinnaise. Gross. BUT I STIILL LIVE THE BOOOOOKKK.

Right now Im on eBay. Looking for cheap book lots. I found one I love. Has like, 52 ill books yo. And for only like, $38. Unfortunatley, it has 8 bids and has 2 days left. Itll be like, $100 by tomorrow. 

Pity too. Mom said shed buy 'em for me.

Well, dearest blog/mystical life.

Im probably moving.

To my moms.

Again.

For legit.

NOT because shes making me or for fun.

Becuase I can. not.  live at my Dads house. Its the way Im treated there and my moms treated here and how...I cang think of him as a Dad who cares about me. Especially when he says he doesnt. 

Sounds lame but I made a poem/rap about it. Hah.

As a side note.

If you listen to Lil' Wayne, your a lot dumber than people who listen to Beethoven. If you dont listen to either...click here and find out how stupid you are. (:

http://thevibe.socialvibe.com/index.php/2009/02/28/does-certain-music-make-you-dumb/?i

Lalalalallalalaa.

Well, back to seriousness. Ugh, Im so bad at it. I need to be slapped.

Well, I feel like Im alive more here. Once I walk into my Dads house, its like I have to hold my breathe and I wish I could sink into the walls.

I always use to wish I had Fairy God Parents.  

Like Timmy Turner. (: Well, Im also not like "my lifes boring. im moving"

Ive been wanting this for around 4 years. Deffinatley in the last year more than ever...now that my mom moved out.

I want to be with my Mom and feel secure in stead of feeling like im worthless.

I also hate how I feel like its my fault.

And how I seem to be complaining.

Oh well. 

I guess Ill just mope subtlely, post on forums, and go back to eBay.

Good day to you, love.

in the ocean meant for us

a lullaby plays

whys there music playing in the ocean today?

to serenade us out of our own skin

to show us the true us

so together we may finally live

i wrote that on a mint container with a sharpie while i was making a fire.

inspirations weird and unexpected when you realise you get some, but thats why we need it.

kind of like a few other things ;D

Ponyboy;

I love the Outsiders.
(:
Well, right now Im eating a salad consisting of some Italian Lettuce stuff, cheese, croutons, and chocolate chip cookies. Health freak,yes.
Well now...Im watching the Waterboy, with Adam Sandler. Yes yyyeeeessssssssshhhhhh :D
Im also listening to BEYOUNCE! Well, I changed my blog layout today. Pretty blue clouds with earbuds and drinks.


I feel like stopping.
Ignore is Bliss(:

Club Life 2/26. I missed Ash Wesnday.

Well, Im at the Clubbb. Wooh. Im not using a Mac so Ill take a picture for this blog...last rotation. Its like, almost second now. I dunno. Today was kinda weird. i havent posted in forever.

I feel awkaward because everyones playing Penguin games and talking about touching eachothers boobs and Seans looking over my shoulder. While Im BLOGGING and playing on Freerice.com to give rice to needy children in Third World Countries and increasing my vocabulary. WELL, life just works out that way on occasion. You got to go with your own flow. I have a new cool website :D

Im so nice with all my world help and above the influenece websites(:

So anyyyywaaaaaayyyys.

Yesterday was Ash Wensday. I cant wait till I have a car. Then I can drive to the Post Office, and Church, and all those other places WHENEVER I WANT.

Wait....if I get a car, and the only place I go is the Post Office, and Im CONTENT with it.....thats lame.

Well, Im home now. I started writing this first roration at the Club. Saved as Draft. Went home. Ate. Moms here now. Finally. I havent seen her in like, a week....and now Im checking Seans Invention Paper and such....YEAH. I got my new Headphones from Hong Kong. $1.50 on eBay. YEAH! They look snazzzyyyyy. Well, Im thinking about thre music I have on my page. I ddddooont know. I kinda want to take it down. Blah. I LOVE IT THOUGH. I love music. Hahaha, first band I ever loved, listened too, bought every CD of, knew every creepy fact about....FALL OUT BOY :D<3>

Oh, wanna know something. I think God lives in the stars. They are just...amazing. i can't even describe them. Ill show you some that are amazing. Heres one. Titles Eye of God. Its like, woah man. And thats a lame one. Mwahaha.

Mrs. O Brien Hates me. Thanks to Mina. My poem was like, weird. If you flash back......


MY GOLLY. interrupptions.
Today is the 27th and well, ive spent like, two days on everything written above. FIRST. After school at the CLub I started at like, 3pm. Then I had to leave because.....Jeff said so? Then I went home and started again at like, 7om. Then Dad became a meany and made me get off and yelled. NOW! Im here.
And Im gonnna start a normal blog...now.
THANK YOU AUTOSAVE/SAVE DRAFT :D!

Sugar. Oh Honey Honey.

Well, right Well, right now Im in the Library and im skipping Gym.
Im scared and nervous. Never skipped before. Well, whatever.
Im gonna go back soon but yeah.
Today in Lunch, people were like. HAHAHA
We went to our old table by Senior Section. It was hilarious.
Highlight of the day?
I was sitting next to Kayla, and said “Excuse me if this is weird and or awkward”
And coughed really loud and phlemy.
Gross.
BUT HILARIOUS.
Well, Im sweatin’ bullets and Steve Irwin wold have said.
Juuussst Kidddddiiing.
Well, Lindsey said people read this.
And I hevent been posting. So their mad.
So if I don’t post forever, people….
Don’t be mad.
Im grounded because of a 69.
On my report card(:
No phone for 3 months.
No computer.
So social life.
How is it different from any other day?
I dunno.
But yeah.Ill try and tell about my life in my detail later.

your guardian angel

Your Guardian Angel- The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus
THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE LYRICS EVER.



FRANKIE MUNIZ!!?


Well, back to the Red Jumpsuit song. Thats my favorite song lyrics and song ever. It just feels true to me. Not about any person in particular. Well kinda. But like, uhm... Yeaaaah. I took a lot of pictures just now. I need a stool. To take pictures outside. Im using a chair and wicker thing. Not working.
Well. Tomorrow Im going to see MEME! (: Love her.
Listening to SURVIVOR. Yay Emily.
I took a lot of pictures today. I like them. Mostly of meee(:
And some of me and my heels :D

Its the end of vacation and I only have two worries.
1. I didnt do my English poems. ):
BUT I gonna write the same poem for everyone and this will be it.
This card though is from my heart
Though dude, Valentines day is over and done
_____ I love how your so awesome, so much hackin’ fun
We’ll be friends till we’re old, Ill even push you in your old people cart
LOVE YOU :D

YESYESYES. I also think I lost all feeling in my finger by the pinky. I put a pan on high to make an egg. And I wanted to know if it was hot enough. So I put my finger on it. SILLY.

Oh, and 2. I didnt do anything.
All vacation. Most exciting thing I did was go to the Thrift Store and Library and Movies once to see Benjamin Button with my Mom. Nobody was there either. Only us in the entire theater. Perks of living in the middle of Nowhere.
Only person outside my family I talked to really was Amanda. Rawr.
While everyone else was at the mall and hanging out and having sleepovers.
I was here at my moms.
Sitting.
Reading.
Listening.
Bored.
I guess I dont know what to say.
Uhm, so yeah.
Whats up.

when shes still around. oh shes still around.

in the moon lit night she cries herself to sleep
atleast in the moon lit night she can try and dream
drowning all her sorrows away
remembering her loves from other days
she murmers as she twists and turns
thinking of it all her heart burns
"one day ill leave this place"
she gently weeps

when the full moon sets her heart sets with it too
she cant control the days cause its new
bringing herself to her knees
she wipes her eyes with her sleeve
sticky from her crying dreams

as the sun rose high she lost control
while it was setting she lost her soul
standing high on the wall down by the stream
she closed her eyes and began to dream
"ill leave this place" she whispers sliding off the edge
in the moon lit night she cries herself to sleep

I dont know.

I just watched Forrest Gump for the first time. Shocking. Yes. I liked it. I run like Forrest in gym. Funny to watch. Well, tomorrow Im going to see Meme. My hero and most loved family who is slowly dying. Hopefully can go to Nantasket. I grew up on that beach. Meme said she wanted to be cremated there....
So...Today I woke up around noonish. Me and mom and Chris had fallen asleep while watching American Idol that we downloaded. So then me an mom went to the Thrift Sotre at 1ish-2ish. It was great. I found one of my first pair of good heels. Really cute(: I also bough some Red Keds. NURSES SHOES ROCK. And some cute Tommy Hilfiger brown flat shoe things. Then I bought a "Hey Mon, Bahamas" shirt that looks cool and some sweatpant things for Gym. I also bought a few really nice shirts. Aannnddd some cute little floral shorts for bed, which Im wearing now. THEEEENN, I got this totally 80's blue checkered jacket. Love it.
Mum also bought a few things. It all come out to around $45 and we got like, a huge bag and then 2 little bags of stuff.
THEN! We explored Ocean State Job Lot! BEST STORE EVER. We bought $60 worth of candy :D
Okay, not really.
They were Moms health mints, cookies, and healthy peanut butter cups :3!! Huzzah Newmans Own Organics!
AAAALLL healthy(:
Then we came home and sit and talked and made Mac and Cheese. Yuhm. Well, then we did...nothing.
I wore this really cool poncho today. If only I had the courage to wear it to school without feeling like a freak/mexican. I always wore ponchos and shawls at home. OH MY GOSH. Yesterday I went and saw the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. I cried. Awesome Adorable Amazing. It was $5 because we go to CHEAP movie theaters. No "Blackstone Valley" for me! I go to Dayville(: The day before that, we went to the Thift Store again! I bought this necklace that says "LOVE" on it with those little beads. Its amazing. And I also bought this little hat thing. Its niccce(:
Then I bought a Sports Bra. YEAH BRAS :D It was pink and had a bit of gray on it. Nice,huh?
Well, today I played Animal Crossing again. Amazing amazing game. My person got stung by a bee and has blue bed head (: I like it though. The Flea Markets tomorrow. Woooohhh.

Ive been thinking about my life alot, and realized its not me Im really thinking about. Its others and how im affecting them. Mostly certain people.


Well, I dunno. Ive been thinking a LOT lately. Philosophy indeed. Im gonna write a short story tomorrow and begin to read The Book Thief. Its big. Ill finish it in two days.

Goodnight. I love you.

love. love will tear us apart.

I dont know what to do anymore. I cant stop crying. Im nervous and terrified. I cant control it anymore. I just want to roll up in a ball and cry for days. I cant though.

Lifes not real.


My God. I just dont know anymore..
Times like these I wish I had someone to hug or to hold. Or just talk to.

philosophy.

Im a lover of philosophical ideas and concepts. One prompt I heard about for someone doing on a forum is "What I Know For Sure Is..." I find it so thought provoking. Im gonna try and write about this. What do we really know? Nothings for sure. My names not really Patricia. Someone just placed a bunch of grunts and clicks together to form a word that we call Patricia, and I happen to respond to it from when I was a child. Why do these lines and little pixels make sense to you, to me? How do we really grow up? 

Ill eventually write a paper about that prompt. I love it.

OH YES, I LOVE IT. BOOKS. YUM.

ima dork.
Well, I FINISHED SPECIALS. :DDD
Now I have a favorite series. Unless Cirque Du Freak is better. And Kayla says it is....So I don't know. It was Lovely Lovely Lovely.
Ill even be so kind as to post the back cover of the book, but since its like, the end of a trilogy. DONT SKIP TO IT. :D Wait. scratch that. I wont. Itll be to complicated. SO....Ill just tell you.

Oh, major spoiler.

BOOK 1 :D
Tally Youngblood is turnng 16. Which means she no longer has to be an Ugly. At 16 you become supermodel beautiful. Everything perfect. No more frizzy hair or anything. Partys everyday.
Until she meets Shay. Shay tells her of David, and a place. Where people go who want to keep their face. Want to be them. Not a copy print out.
When Shay leaves, Special Circumstances track down Tally. They make he go in and find Smokes and bring it down. But when she gets there, she realizes that being Pretty, isnt all that great. Will she give in to Special Circumstances? Or follow David and the Smokes, who might have found a cure for it all.

BOOK 2 :D
Things didn't go as planned. Shes now a Pretty, but something doesn't seem quite right. She keeps remembering some "totally bogus" stuff from her Smoke days. Shes a Crim now. The elite group of Pretties thats invited to all the parties. Thats though, how she meets Zane and finds out the Crims arent just for getting into the bubbliest parties. Its for remembering the Ugly days. Everyone else doesnt remember though. Like their brain has something wrong. Then, when Tally kisses Zane. She remembers. A consent she gave Maddie. A cure. When shes given two pills, she gives one to Zane. Unfortunately. That doesnt really work to Zanes benefit either. Now the Crims are all escaping for New Smokes. But will this be for good?

BOOK 3 :D
Tallys luck really isnt all that good. But now...shes a Cutter. With Shay and everyone else. An elite group of Special Circumstances. She can see everything clearly now. Then she finds Zane. Crippled from the nanos, and in New Pretty Town. But hes still Bubbly. All Tally wants is for him to be a cutter. So she send him on a mission to New Smokes. To be proven that hes bubbly enough to be a cutter. Then, when Tally and Shay destroy the armory, New Smokes is in huge danger. And Tally suddenly doesnt want it to be. With everyone in this mess, and Tally alone to fix it. What'll happen?


BAM! Aint I gooooddd at writing a synopsis' :D
Now that I have that book down, All I have to do is read the extension to the series. EXTRAS. :D I hear its not really about Tally. But Aya. ):
Now...since I dont really have Extras. Im going to read Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin.
I hear its good.

wheres lassie when you need 'em?

NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE. I fell down a well.You think its a lie? Think not. Im at Mums house, and theirs this..well in the backyard. I was walking across it to get to a rock to sit on, and then bam. wood broke, fett are in the well, I didnt really like, PLUNGE into it, but my Uggs got wet D:! I then plled myself up and went inside to tell my mother who informed that of I fell, the wells over like, 1000ft deep. Gracious....
Well. Yeah. As you can see in the picture, you can notice where my butt was on the right side where it sinks a bit (:
Then when I went back outside with my camera to take a picture of it, I fell again. On the ice. And got 1 HUGE cuts on ym knees and scratche duo my wrist.
Sad Sad Sad.
Well, for a near death experience, it wasn't that bad.

in honor of the day,my hair is purple.

Yes, it is Purple for Valentines Day. So that mean...TODAY'S VALENTINES DAY! Yes Yes YES! Day of Love. Love of the days. Even though its my 13th-14th single Valentines Day.
Well, anyways. I used that $6 cheap spray color, I think I look like a Frankenstein. Ha ha, cool though. Eh, I have mixed emotions about today. Its an amazing day to really show people your affection and be happy about it, but then theirs just the dark side I guess.
Even on Holidays like today people ignore them or don't get the affection they think they need. Like....today's not happy for everyone. People die everyday. So so many people have probably died on Valentines Day. Which is really sad...
Then theirs the people who will die today because they don't think anyones gonna love them, since nobodies loving them today. Its also a day of commercialism. But I'm gonna save that story for Christmas...or one of my government hating Blogs :P
I wish I wasn't such a child. I could walk straight over to the guy I like and be "Happy Valentines Day, I kinda like you..." Without like...dying. Hopefully if he reads that, because if those 100 views and true...then people read this. Who knew?
Oh, and I totally forgot about this, but on Monday Mina came out of the hospital. The Sun God was on his side! Kidding. Kidding. That's mean. -___-
I hate being mean, but it just happens. I true to be funny, because I think if people think I'm funny, they'll...like me more. I'm just so afraid of rejection. That's my main....fear in life I guess. Its one of the only things that can ever make me cry.
Oh, I love Eggs.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! :D Uggs. Not Eggs. Even though I do own chickens. So I do love Eggs :D
Ill go take a picture of one. :) Just for you, because I love you sooo much<3>. I do. Ahh, I blog about that later. Brb, babe. 3:10 Alright. Its 3:25 now. i put on some makeup. I have SUCH bad Completion. I'm uploading some some of the pictures. Hopefully their alright. Since my camera suckssss. Its a Samsung BL103. Phooey. Oh, and well, THERE MY BABIES ARE. The cute 'lil chicks.
Hahaha. I just took more pictures of me.
My completion isn't bad anymore. Thanks to Organic Wear Makeup. I love it (: I love the sun today. Inspiration....Artsy Fartsy, Uggs, and the Sun. Biggest inspirations ever. Sun,life,art,and love.
I took all these today. http://flickr.com/photos/33737043@N06/archives/date-taken/2008/12/11/
Except, they really weren't taken on December 11th. Really, February 14th :P
I went to the library. I got like, 15 books to last me the vacation. AWESOME,eh?
Well, I love everyone. Really I do.
I have a dream of writing a book or short novel. I really think It'll be fun. I think my biggest obstacle is coming up with a name for my characters. I don't wanna use like, my friends name. I don't know. I know it'll be a about a runaway or have some portion of it being her or him on the streets. Most likely a girl. Urg.
Oh, remember when I mention how I got tons of books? Here they are(:


In total I got 9 books, and one is Kaylas. I got Feed, Ask Me No Questions, Flowers for Algernon, Homecoming, Elsewhere, Peeps, Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, Honey Baby Sweetie, The Book Theif, and Kayla gave me SPECIALS. Which I absolutely adore.

Well, Happy Valentines Day, Babe(:

Hermet Crabs Talk.

Today is a Holiday. FRIDAY THE 13TH! Also, its the start....of something new,it feels so right,to be hear with you, OH! And now looking in your heart, in your heeeaaarrrrrrt. The start of something....new(: of vacation! Yes yes yes. So from now until next Monday, no schooooooolll. Hopefully my plan of dragging Jen and Amanda will work and theyll come over for a few days. Me and ma though....probabaly will just sit here, eat healthy puffs, go online and watch movies.
Speaking of which...I dont want to see Friday the 13th, that Jason movie? Everyone else does though. Ehh. my GOSH! Today the Hermet crabs chirped :D Like, talk chirped. Wckkkkedd. Coolio. Well, Im wearing Uggs. Fake Uggs actually. My mom bought them for a bit over $100 and shes not returning them...Even though their fake. No clueeee. Well, they are still comfy.
All who love the Twilight Soundtrack but dont like the movie, say I.
.....no one?
Well, I actually like the movie....its like. Okay. The book was 29303743% better. Haha, all this twilight stuff is a bit old though. Well, um, Im going to go on AIM now. Still gonna write of course though. I well. Amanda. She braided my WHOLE head today. MAZZZINNN, eh? Well, we watched a movie in Science, so by the end of the movie, I looked Jamacian.
OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT MITCHELL DAVIS.
Ah,I love him. He made a video a few days ago. LOVE it. And this OTHER video he recomemnded about some kid...OMG LOVE IT :D
Kaylas "mad" at me -_-

stopdropkayla: [Offline IM sent yesterday]

hey pat. kayla here. obviously. i did, infact, read your blog. and first off, jesus loves you. i don't. and. honestly, you shouldn't be playing the blame-game. you don't know the story, so stop acting like you do. i'm not starting anything with you, you did. sorry. stay.out.of.it

lolz patricia: sorry if i upset you, its a venting blog. not a proclomation to the world. and jesus loves you too. and from what i did understand, it seemed messed. up. but thats all in the past now :D
silly life.
TOMORROWS VALENTINES DAY♥
Yeahhhhh! Itll be happy knowning that..its A holiday of love. But sad knowing....I don't have a Valentine.

I found the cutest thing on Etsy.com EVER. Its a bookmark! I love reading, and I love cute little owls. SO! This was amazing. I hope on getting it. But only not really. I hope someone else will be getting it FOR me(: Its so COOL. Ah -_- Id read books just to use that bookmark. Sweet,eh?

Bye, Happy Valentines Day/Friday the 13th

Club Life 2/11

Hello again, dearest blog.

Marissa took that picture:)

Im at the Club, again. I had a Stuco meeting and DAD, made me come on Seans bus and I had to come anyways. Silly,eh?

Well, now its like, 2nd "rotation" and Seans reading over my shoulder. Hes messaging Marissa and Cait on AIM and Joe is pretending to be Jesus and asking them out. Weird,eh? I feel Canadian. Not realllllyyyy though. Yesterday I was more Canadian. I wore Plade yesterday. As Tom says. Nobody else in this world mis pronounces it EXCEPT him. Yet, I am not surprised. ha. ha. ha.

I love PostSecret(: Well, I just read it. Haven't read it in a while. I havent been on my BLOG in forever. Ugh. I don;t know what to saayyyy. Bored.

Uhm, I got a book today. Wooh, yess I know.

Its part of the Uglies trilogy. Yet, its a fourthogy. Because it has 4 books in it. Wooh. Im on....Specials? Kayla let me borrow it.

SPEAKING, of Kayla.

I hate her guts -___-

Shes been a complete bitch latley (: I dont even care if she reads this :D she has no right to be asuch a bwordd to lindsey liek she is.

Silly drama filled angsty bitches. I mean....friends?

:D

Makaylas a pedo.

Uhm, well yeah.

SEAN STOP LOOKING.

Well.

uh.

RARG.

Me and Lindsey might go to a Nevershoutnever concert? March something or other? If, I can get a ride and more detials.

:DDDDDD

Itll be a blasty blast.

Well, BYE.

Its a Club Life. 2/10

Alright. The Boys and Girls Club is where its at! Wooh. Well, Its Tuesday as most people who know dates and times would know...but that means I have church. its also almost 6, which means Ill be LATE for church. Which means if Father dearest -_____- 

Byeee(:

you cant spell slaughter without laughter

i lost myself inside a drunken kiss

Im watching Spies Like Us. Its some $1 movie from KMart. Its kind of funny, but I cant get through it. Seems almost,boring. Yet not.
Its about some guys who sneak their way into being Spies and blah blah something about them going to Pakistan,blah. Its pretty good right now. This chics blowing people up! WOOOH! Now this guys getting his partner out of Soviet Highway jail. Fun....



Im at my moms and right now, I have a pain in my Ribs and my Right Abdomen. I might eat a Oatmel Raisin Cookie.

I need to read some books.
Im getting some book from bookmooch.
A also need to buy earbuds.

Wooh?
Wooh.

Today is a day like anyother day,

Except not really.
But it was,but not.
Kinda. In a odd way.
ONLY if you squint. Well, yeah.
I bought this amazing make up. It is SOO cute. And 100% cancer free(: Its called Organic Wear. It was $25 for 3 things. A Bronzer,Matte, and Cover Up thingy. WORK GREAT :D So happy(: THANKS MOM :D I got the 2 cover up looking things and the bronzer which is the one to the left. Haha.
Dads letting me only. Happy. I havent been on in forever! (2 days)
TODAY! WAS FUNNY.
Kayla did that quarter trick. She rubbed pencil on a dime, then told me to roll it down my face. I did,not knowing what wa sgoing on,becaus eI hadnt heard it in forever. Then for like, 3o minutes I had pencil all over my face! Nobody noticed until Martin and Kaylee started laughing. THEN! Mrs OBrien called me to a desk and pulled ou a mirror. UGH! I walked round with a tissue saying "I dont know what Im doing!!" and whipped it off. Wowzzerz. Well, I ate a cheeseburger Today. I also went to the Club again. Joe apperently sends pics to people and asks for 13 years olds pics and did stuff to Dogs. -______- And he works with 6 year olds!? Golly. Well,no clue. Bye for now?
No, Im gonna write a lil poem.
Skies broken,leaves pouring off the trees
Everyones faster than I can see,my eyes cant catch up to humanity
Who knows what we need to do in this world
Emotions living up to nothing,living in a spiral,a swirl
Look at your hands,see your fate.
Look im my eyes see ours
Look at their hearts,maybe a glimpse of truth
or just the see their scars.
Skies cracked,leaves are falling from these trees
Eyes are slower,closing from humanity.
Look at my eyes,its all in a spiral
Dont look in their eyes,deception is viral.

report card.

Heres my report card. 2nd Quarter Grade then Midterm grade.

Health: 95 83
Science: 69 91
Choir: 97 94
English: 84 97
Math: 86 71
Spanish: 86 76
History: 96 97


SCIENCE! ):!!!
my phones getting taken away for 2 1/2 months until next report card.

ther emust be more to this;!

the words are coming i feel terrible
is it typical
for us to end like that

:D

Today is the only today.
Soon it will be a forever ago.
Who knows,one day.
We can go to Mexicoooo :)
Rhyming is cool.

I have horrible complexion. Ive deceded to like mt self concious self be free on my blogs. Acne,Scars from Acnelittle itty gross bloop poop bleek. Dont get me started. So mad.

RAWRRRRRRR -__-
I went on a marvelous photoshoot, or phoot shoot, and got some nice pictures. AKA;two cool ones.
Which bring me to the subject of.
My man arms.
GROSS.
-_____-
Today I got up from some dream, I thought was so real yet, I forgot it.
I think it had to do with ghosts. No clue. Well, after that, I rinsed my jair and hairsprayed it,threw on a shirt and jeans,and left the house after eating a bit o' muffin.
GOLLY. I just died from a coughing attack. I have a terrid cold and my sinus' is all messed up and Im coughin' like a banshee.

G2G.
ttyl.
dads threatening me :P

the nights as young as us;lets dance and kiss,dont fuss.

to whom it may concern;

ha :D
havent posted in along time,eh? well, lets recap on my life before i get into anything else.
well,all week and beyond that,ive been sickly. sniffley sneezing nose. silly cough too. probably from not wearing coats.
okay,so everything until friday was a blur.
friday was JProductions dance. Woooh. Wanna see a picture? OOH YEAH. The guy,James,took it while we were all dancing. I look like a dork as always. :D

Oh yes. Splendid indeed,arent we? Oh,CREDIT SAM for taking them. :D
Alright,so the dance. Fun Fun time. It was amazing. My feet killed after. Lost my glasses. Martin grinded. Hilarious. I slow dance with nobody again. Unless you count the 1 minute with Devin. :P
Saturday I went to moms after sleeping till noon. I really didnt do much. EXCEPT. send out the books for bookmoocher.com BEST SITE EVER. except you pay for shipping.
So now, that leaves Sunday.
I came home. STEELERS won the superbowl. am i happy? i dont know. i guess i like the super bowl.
well, groundhog day.
6 more weeks of joyous winter.
-________________-
Tomorrow is school. Now it is 10:17. Amanda just left out little Im chat. Now were texting about well, Top Secret Stuff(:
Uhm,i dont know.

Heres the personal stuff I guess.
That picture. This picture. Thats kinda over There somewhere. Is my Grandpa. Dads Dad. Dead. I just found out today after like, a little over a year why he even died. He had skin cancer. I never really felt a strong connection with him i saw him a lot when i was younger, I feel weird even saying his name.
Pappa. Daniel. Its so weird. It brings memories of me clipping roses with June. My grandma (dads mom) outside when I was little and eating cookies on this table near this counter with them looking at me and maybe my brothers. And outside in this pool. I dont know. I wish I could have talked to him,been more connected. I didnt even cry when I found out he died. I hadnt seen him in a while,so I guess it never really sunk in. I didnt go to the funeral either. I wish I did. I also wish I would hve just talked to him more. I remember how he always wore those special doctor perscribed shoes and his house was so clean and white and I got a Barbie camera there. I remember a train that was on the railing by the stairs and this clock medal and playing with them and going in the garage before. I never even cried when he died,but I feel like Im close to now. Probably because Im listening to Yurima. Now he's dead,Grammies in a hospitale for Altimers. I wish I could just learn about their lives,and their parents life. And my dads life. Whom I know nothing about. I dont think he answers the questions I ask truthfully. Im not sure.



Also,for future reference.
I dont exist.
How do you know I exist?
Think about it.
Why am I who I am?
Why do I see this?
How are these letters on the screen making sense?
How is this all...real?
Do I exist?

Only God knows.