dont read this.

i fucking hate my life. im so fucking fat and ugly.
i cant wear anything.
im finllly over this.
ive ignored this and now im a fuckin idiot.
i hate this.
i wish i could just get it out.
no matter how many times, im too scared to do this.
fuck, my, life.
im fuckin FAT
i look HORRIBLE in all my clothes
i have NO one.
i wish i could live in a corner and cry.
but to bad for me, I have school.
just another public place to shame everyones elses eyes.
i hate this.
rar.

ugh. i have to go and pray.
then try again.

gosh,this is the worst day ever.
im NOT doing gym tomorrow.
FUCKYOU.

love of mine,some day you will die

One more blog before I leave.


i make a lot of spelling errors.
I dont like it.
What happened to my vast vocabulary and good spelling!
Something happened in 7th grade.....

wtf

i forgot my herbal tea.
now im on the verdge of swearing aloud.
and i dont enjoy that.
and i have a 5 paragraph essay about MATH to do.

i think to myself right now,
"why do I always forgot stuff?! especially my tea! it has flowers and apples in it!!!!!"
and also
"WHAT THE HECK AM I WRITING!?!?!?!
how are you suppose to write about improving in math. i dont suck.
much.
so blah."

-_-

i post a lot,kinda boring. i think im gonna start writing in smaller font. for fun,ya know?
he other font,even though it says normal,is too big.
Rawr.
Ive been cring latley.
I keep imagining my mom or Greatgrandma dying.
I DONT LIKE IT.
I had to write that small because if I look at it, I cry. Im a freak.
Well, who wants to buy a ticket. Nobody,okay?
Be back later, to reheat my damp cold tea.
And finish my ESSAY >:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! its a just another manic tuesday♫

I just got back from a day in Church. Aka
24:seven!
Woooooh! Well, almost cried. I thought about this kid and how when he was a aTF, he started crying and all his friends came around and hugged him and prayed with him.
And how I...ugh.
ME and Amanda got prayed with by oone of the ladies,probably because we sat for a while. Well, she rubbed our bakcs and I was slightly uncomfortable with it,but i still thought it was very nice of her and apprieciate itmbut I think it was awkward. Oh well.
EMILY GOT HIT ON MY JESSE AND MITCHEL.
maybe

I love my mom. I gave her my card,and aww. She cried. I just love her. And Its her Birthday! I called her in Gym class toda at 10am to wish her a happy day. :D


OH,and guess what world! HALEY HAS A BLOG TOO NOW.


Is this like,a mgical trend Ive started?


Ive said Ive been blogging sicne forever. Mostly on Forums. Then I geta website,then I get a blog. EVERYONE FOLLOWS.


wozzers.


SPOILER ALERT!!!


Well, Im half way through Blue is For Nightmares. I love it,but Jen said that the only guy i can trust is Chad. Which means Donavans the one trying to kill Drea. SO UPSETTING. I loved Donavan. Artistic,Nice,Athletic,Nice,Hot,Artistic,HOT.


Everything I like in a guy.


;D


IF YOUR GOING TO DO ANYTHING;WATCH THIS VIDEO.




http://www.love146.org


I love this charity; discovering new causes to support. I think child abuse, child trafficking,causes against Domestic Abuse. it hink all this stuff is horrible and vile and just...wrong. I want to help those people the most. Its so sad,and anyone can change it.


You dont have to donate $2309432490 to be a helpful person. Just try to achieve change and it'll happen.

THen,thers this website I found thanks to http://koriannespeaks.blogspot.com/
An amazing Book/Day Blogger.
Its called http://beforeidieiwantto.org/
Two amazing things.
Polariods
And real peoples dreams.

I love life! :D

Boys and Girl Club Blog Day 1

I am here. At the Boys and Girls Club. WOOOH! Like in the SUMMER WITH KATIE! Nothing to do,I feel awkward. Im in the Computer Room. Joes in here. Wooooh. Im uh.....Bored perhaps? Well, Im going to try to post something here everyday since Ill BE here everyday from afterschool to 5. NO LIFE now. Wooooh. I say woooh alot.

So Uhm. Yeah. All I did was eat pretzels,take pictures with Aniyah,then this. WOOOOOH.

:)

Gooodbyeeeee.

OH ITS A LOVE LOCKDOWN. blogging again on 1/25/09

Lindsey has a lovely blog.
Check it out or I will rip out your innards and feed them to the squirrels and Pomeranians. click click click click!
Oh, lindseys fun. (:
Everyones making a blog now a days. First I make a website, which I now dont use, then Nick made a blog/website,then Kaylas made a website,then I made this blog,then Trisha made one,then Lindsey made one. Woozers.
Oh gosh. I feel so fat. Like, solid. Like I have a 5 pound weight in me -_- RAWR! Me and Amanda ate this huge breakfast and noon, then 10 cookies at like, 5, then at 7 I ate some cheeseburger and some Ice Cream.
Diet of a fatty? Yes. Yes. YES.
Gym starts tomorra'
It'll be a trial. Ill never be able to do the mile in any less than like, 20 minutes. URG. Atleast its everyday I have gym. So I can go back to my 7th grade figure (;
IM gonna CRY.
Your Gaurdian Angel by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus.
): <3
AND MITCHELL DAVIS.
He is one amazing person,he's what youtube should be like. Great great guy(: He has a new video :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zOE63ilPfbs
haha
http://www.youtube.com/user/livelavalive

LIVELAVALIVE
oh, ALSO. alex pardeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
is an artist. im trying to draw/paint/whatev.
so hers my first alex pardee inspired thingy.
not as dark though.
just "inspired" thingy. I like the eye.

One last thing.
I learned how to play piano at Amandas too.
The first part of Kiss the Rain, I think its called, by Yiruma.



WOOOOOH. DADS PULLING THE COMPUTER PLUG SO SEE YAAAA(:
Long blog.

run baby run! forever there'll be; you and me♥

Today is Sunday. Which means the weekends. over. SADLY. I went to AMANDAS house this weekend. Woooooh. First time in a while. It was fun. We ate Black Death Ball Potatos, Watched Saw 5,drew pictures, and a bunch of other fun. Ooooo joy. Oh. The picture over <--there. Its JACOB GONZOLEZ. I drew it because he doesnthavea myspace picture. ♫Listening to We the Kings. Love em. Saw 'em live(: Well, it doesn;t really count since it was Warped tour and a 15 minute set. BUT STILL. I got the expirence. It was really dark and the camera sucked Heres a video.

Woahaha.
Really bad. Told ya, i mean, I was JUMPING and screaming along with the crowd. And I am shorter than everyone seeing Im like, 13. :)
Well. At Amandas House I stole twooooo books. YES YES YES.
Go Ask Alice
The Blue Nightmare
wooooh.
Reading The Blue Nightmare.
Well, Ice Creams dripping down my face.
So toodles.

1/23/09

Alright now. I TOOK THAT PICTURE.
Yesterday was the 1 year anniversary of Heath Ledgers death.
):
Im listening to Wonderwall. Woaoaoaoah.


BOOKS. I need a BOOK.
Im on that book moochers site,which is awesome, but I need to pay for the shipping of the book and ugh. Itll be bad. But maybe its worth it. Ship a book,get a book.
Theres also that book club. They have all "grow up" books though.
No young adult!
So Im just gonna get the whole Twilight Series in hardcover,
The Notebook [Nicholas Sparks is my favorite author ever]
And Life of Pi.
THE END (:
Hope shippings not too much xD

THE WRECKING.

Well, about a few 3 hours ago I got home from church. It was a FUSION NIGHT. Which means I saw a band! You may be thinking, church band.....GOSPEL SINGING PEOPLE. Nahhh dude. My church be hip.
They were rocking. And Joe. My Favorite of course, had a KEYTAR(reason for favoring) he also used, wiki-wiki-TURNTABLES. YesYesYes. 24:seven is a little bit of churchly heaven. Speaking of which, ya know. Gods cool. Speaking of that, I love how so many christian bands are so cool. SPEAKING OF THAT. SOULFEST WITH KAYLAS MOM. +Kayla and Amanda. Hopefully I can tag along. We can pitch a tent(;
Itll be awesome dudetts&dudes. 100 bands. 5 stages. KIROS AND AS I LAY DYING AND WELL, love.
Ive seen the Kiros before. They were amazingamazingamazing. Neil is sweet(: Hahha. ive seen...The Devil Wears Prada? Their Christian but I dont think their there. Oh well. Hahah. oh, and the wrecking has a MUSIC VIDEO OUT. YESH.



URG///////
No wonder I have circles under my eyes all the time, I know they are there now. Rarg.

I have my hardest exams tomorrow and I cant sleep. Arg.
Ill try and fall asleep to Twilight tonight again.




http://www.thewrecking.net
http://www.thesoulfest.com/2009/index.html

well, forget that reveiw. i havent been on in forever!
I will say though. Kayla Smitherzz? You were decieved. Uglies was a great book.
But it was semi-boring until David came in.
Tally+David forevaaaa. :)

AHHHHH! VIDEO NOT WORKING. well heres a new music song.(: actually its MITCHELL DAVIS.


theres a song to set the mood love it. listening to it now.
(:

Well.
WEEKLY RECAP.
Monday/ No School. Moms house. Fun. I think I blogged that day.
Tuesday/ Had all my classes in school. Was kinda cool, but also horrible. BUT ☮bama for your mama. Inauguration day!
Wednesday/ Had A [Math, wicked easy] B [Health, surprisingly Easy] and C [Thought I was gonnafail, but was easy] EXAMS.
Thursday/ Today! Had D and E exams. D [English] was pretty easy. I messed up on an essay i had to write though. And E? Very easy as always. (: I made my answers all sappylike when it asked "why do you Sing?" Since it was Chorus class.
Other than that. Well. Nothing. Since There is no Friday so far.
Or Saturday.
BUT TODAY!
IS CHURCH!
WHICH MEANSSSSSSS.
FUSION NIGHT CHURCH CONCERT WITH THE WRECKING.
yes. church has hip rock bands!
woopie.
just need to find $3 to pay for my card to get in.
since i lost mine. :)
oh,this happened like, last week but.
NEVERSHOUTNEVER MUSIC VIDEO!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYGA4JMFejE

doubledaybookclub.com

yeah!

mr. brightside.

i love the killers. who couldnt? classic classic classic. well, maybe their not classics. haha, but their good. im in a mood for that kinda music. and the beatles. wow, im gonna be having a doozy today. im also ecstatic. WHY YOU ASK!? because of TRISHAAAAAA. yes, my pal trisha. she made a blog ),:! and said it was because i made one. either she was immessly jealous, or just realized the magic of blogging :D
speaking of which, i no longer know what to write about.
im done blogging.. forever.
GOODBYE.
oh, losers. jk.
i have too much fun this.
i talk to myself a lot. i need to stop.
i have entire conversations in my head with people. ill be sitting in my living room staring at friggen wall and all of a sudden laugh and say, "hahah, indie purple!" because that would be my response to the person in my head.
im insane.

but ut feels right.

so im gonna live with it. (:
in another note.
I finished /uglies in record time. 450something pages done in a few hours. Yes, I didnt go to sleep until like, 6am and I woke up at 4pm today, but I dont care. It was a good book.
Ill even be all professional about it and "reveiw it" hahhahahahahhahahahahhahahhahaah.
Well. Ill actually do this in another post. So See the one above this one for it probably.
MUSIC :D
alrightly.
I now enjoy British bands. They all start with "the" did you ever notice that? THE Beatles, THE this, THE that.
and now THE WOMBATS.

yes yes yes love.
They even have a song with the name Patricia in it. Which never ever happens.
PATRICIA THE STRIPPER! It is titled.

Also, We Are Scientists.


Lovely Lovely Love.
Some songs I like by them?
Its a Hit is a nice one.

i have so many books to read!

I have so many books I want to read. Id name them all or show some pictures, but I cant!
Thats how many their are!
So Im gonna grab me a glass of H20,
grab a bite of my sandwich,
and read Uglies.
(:
Which I plan to finish tonight :D

revamp?
no. not vampires.
im kinda redoing this blog? it'll be not about my life as much.
more about
BOOKS
and then me.
and other blog book contests.
and stuff I found.
and unicorns.
n' everything in between.

good day.
patricia.

my night shall be a grand one.

Im about to start off my extra long night by reading Uglies by Scott W. I forget his last name, so its just W for now (: Mums working so Ill be alone from around soon to noon tomorrow. So I have a package of tea, a turkey sub, my labtop, and a pocket full of dreams. Yes. Dreams. Oh golly.

///// OMG FUN.
Mrs. Magoo Reads is having a BOOK CONTEST! I love book contests(: And books for that matter.

The book you ask? Not Anything by Carmen Rodrigues.
All you must do? Go to her page and find out.
Yayyyyyy joy.

ALSOOO; I expericanced the most exciting moment of my whole life.
One Word. ebay.
Me and my mom went on a bidding expidition for soap making supplies because were that crafty, and I went on a mad dash, 45 seconds left, people were throwing paypals, higher bids, and aloe soap EVERYWHERE.
We won 2 out of 3 of the bids.
now I know why all those people ebay. Its THAT fun.

missy miss.

remember that post where i said i ate to much and hated the world? WELL. i just ate more.
hate myself even more.
rargaaa. oh well. onto gURL.com i go(:

http://koriannespeaks.blogspot.com/2009/01/alaska-young-memorial-day-contest.html

its a contest.
i love her blog.
i just love book blogs.
YEAH WORLD!
check her out.
books, blogs,bbbb-FUN.
:DDD

i just ate chili.
i want to go puke it out.
if only i wasnt afriad the stomach acid would ruin my teeth and such.
screw it.
fattyfattyfat.
sorry world.
this is my blog.
you get to hear inside my head.
there you go.
im a fat cow.
yippy.
in a happier note.
new years resolution.
some 18 odd days late.
read 150 books this year. ive already read...one.
the witch child or something like that.
i want to read the sorceress next.
but now im reading uglies.
great title to match my mood.
joy.
good evening world.

one of these coming days the sky will fall
the atmospheric pressure is too much
were filling the world with our infatuation
the oceans filled with H2LOVE.

nobodys looking at my blog! ):

ugg. its late. i have to go to bed.
but i did it. well, almost.
i didnt really do it.
nothing really happened.
but i wish it did work.
i know its wrong and ive been against it forever.
but i dont think its so bad now.
i dont know.
im gonna do it again.
and ill get it.
ill loose this.
if its the last thing i do.

"I wanna scream I love you from the top of my lungs
But I'm afraid that someone else will hear me
You can only blame your problems on the world for so long
Before it all becomes the same old song
As soon as we hit the hospital I know we're gonna leave this town
And get new passports and get get get get get out now"

ive come to the conclusion i like gingers.
i want to play piano.
i want reading glasses.
im a tad bit...chunky.
i need to repaint my nails.
its midnight.
my camera is of poor quality.
im not too grateful.
my neck is itchy.
and i need to go to bed.
what a doozy. eh?

lately ive been quite interested in columbine. no, i am no physco. it just..fasinates me.
i mean, listen to the song cassie by flyleaf. its like, wow. i mean, sometime you cant believe people do these things. but you know, its all in gods will (: its like how ive ben interested in the whole anne frank holocaust thing. again. not because im weird or something, its just facinating. wow. creepy, eh? but really. i feel bad for them all. i hope nothing like this happens again. and that all the familys are dealing well. am i glad im in rachels challenge? you betcha :D

HOLY SNAPPLE BISQUICK.

my lockers open.
i have a tummy ache.
im listening to family force 5 and some christian music ;)
im talking to nick about haleys intercourse.
sorry halez :D but dont do something you dont want yo momma, or half the school, to talk about. dont do it
hey world, wanna know tomorrows plans!? (:
stuco tomorrow.
then cleaning my locker.
then kaylas or someone elses. funfun.
then church tomorrow.
wooppppaaaaaaaahh.

p.s.
i should play dragonball z later.

p.s.s. actually, pokemon. im afraid of dragonball z.

i hate my life.
i do. i really really do.
at school. on monday. my spanish, health, and like, 5 other classes notebooks are due.
but guess what!? my lockers JAMMED. its super embarassing because i was stupid and put a hackin box in there because it was a project and BAM. jammed. my history teacher (who is male and semi-strong) and the office secretary (who is old but still) tried opening it. even with the big locker opener clamp, no luck! i need to get a janitor but im afraid it still wont open. what if it never opens? all my stuffs in there! OH NO. what if they have to open it, and they have to take the locker door off the hinges. and they leave it like that and i go to school and craps EVERYWHERE. Itll be like Mt. Kilimanjaro EXPLODED! imagine the devastation? i mean. I have a really warm new sweatshirt in there. I also have so much crap. If i ever open my locker, im staying after school and cleaning it out. For real. This is bad. I need to take more responsibility. RAWRRRRT. i also lost $20 in health. how? i do not know! its horrible! thats the most money ive ever even had! im just gonna drop out. i have midterms and everything else coming up. i need to clean my locker and just do everything.
this is my master plan.
-insert evil face-
oh, golly. remind me to actually take an evil picture and post it there. :DDD
procedure 1! go to school looking snazzy on monday and go to the office. not mrs j. because im just not. and figure out how i can get a janitor to open my locker.
procedure 2! before doing anything! praypraypray this plan even works.
procedure 3! clean my locker out. fast. after school.
procedure 4! study study study.
procedure 5! sleep a lot.
:D

well then. its like, 5AM
chris will be home soon.
so goodbye for now lovelys.

LOVE
thank you kayla
p.s. i look high in every picture. its from never sleeping. not from drugs :D

altoids are a delicious treat.
alright. so now im watching Big Daddy with my mum and such.
Sometimes I think Im wasting my life.
Like theres something magical I should be doing. But Im too blind to see it.
Oh well, the movies almost over. Its so sad.
JULIENS LEAVING SUNNY! D:
For the last few nights Ive been watching this thing on SocialVibe.
Adara and Mikey. Adara got ODed and Mikey found her passed out. She ended up dying 5 times and had a heart transplant. The next day she was allowed on a laptop. RARG. I want to believe it so badly, because its so beautiful ),:
http://www.socialvibe.com/main#/discuss/3/88/43270
LOVE :D<3