the nights as young as us;lets dance and kiss,dont fuss.

to whom it may concern;

ha :D
havent posted in along time,eh? well, lets recap on my life before i get into anything else.
well,all week and beyond that,ive been sickly. sniffley sneezing nose. silly cough too. probably from not wearing coats.
okay,so everything until friday was a blur.
friday was JProductions dance. Woooh. Wanna see a picture? OOH YEAH. The guy,James,took it while we were all dancing. I look like a dork as always. :D

Oh yes. Splendid indeed,arent we? Oh,CREDIT SAM for taking them. :D
Alright,so the dance. Fun Fun time. It was amazing. My feet killed after. Lost my glasses. Martin grinded. Hilarious. I slow dance with nobody again. Unless you count the 1 minute with Devin. :P
Saturday I went to moms after sleeping till noon. I really didnt do much. EXCEPT. send out the books for bookmoocher.com BEST SITE EVER. except you pay for shipping.
So now, that leaves Sunday.
I came home. STEELERS won the superbowl. am i happy? i dont know. i guess i like the super bowl.
well, groundhog day.
6 more weeks of joyous winter.
-________________-
Tomorrow is school. Now it is 10:17. Amanda just left out little Im chat. Now were texting about well, Top Secret Stuff(:
Uhm,i dont know.

Heres the personal stuff I guess.
That picture. This picture. Thats kinda over There somewhere. Is my Grandpa. Dads Dad. Dead. I just found out today after like, a little over a year why he even died. He had skin cancer. I never really felt a strong connection with him i saw him a lot when i was younger, I feel weird even saying his name.
Pappa. Daniel. Its so weird. It brings memories of me clipping roses with June. My grandma (dads mom) outside when I was little and eating cookies on this table near this counter with them looking at me and maybe my brothers. And outside in this pool. I dont know. I wish I could have talked to him,been more connected. I didnt even cry when I found out he died. I hadnt seen him in a while,so I guess it never really sunk in. I didnt go to the funeral either. I wish I did. I also wish I would hve just talked to him more. I remember how he always wore those special doctor perscribed shoes and his house was so clean and white and I got a Barbie camera there. I remember a train that was on the railing by the stairs and this clock medal and playing with them and going in the garage before. I never even cried when he died,but I feel like Im close to now. Probably because Im listening to Yurima. Now he's dead,Grammies in a hospitale for Altimers. I wish I could just learn about their lives,and their parents life. And my dads life. Whom I know nothing about. I dont think he answers the questions I ask truthfully. Im not sure.



Also,for future reference.
I dont exist.
How do you know I exist?
Think about it.
Why am I who I am?
Why do I see this?
How are these letters on the screen making sense?
How is this all...real?
Do I exist?

Only God knows.